Identifying a Victim Mindset

Hello, everyone!

Today we will be talking about breaking out of the victim mindset, ways to recognize if you have this, and solutions to break out of this mindset.

Why is this an important topic? Because disappointments and setbacks are all part of the uncertainty of life. How you respond to these setbacks determines how satisfied you will be in your life and the quality of it. You can’t control your circumstances, but you can control your response to them.

So how do you know if you have a victim mindset? Here are five ways to recognize it:

  1. Everything is negative. Most things have a negative tone to them and you might even feel like life is not on your side. You feel like you have been dealt a really bad set of cards.
  2. You ask yourself “Why” a lot. Why does everything in my life have to be hard? Why don’t people understand me or leave me alone?
  3. You ruminate over things a lot or over think and rethink things over and over. The script runs over and over and nothing seems to work out for you.
  4. You don’t think very highly of yourself. You are usually your own worst critic.
  5. Your first emotion is anger and are often of other people’s gain.

Do any of these sound familiar to you?

We all tend to slip into this mindset in various areas of our lives, but we don’t want to stay there. Watch out when this becomes a way of life.

Here are 5 solutions to break out of it.

  1. Build confidence by creating small achievable goals. It’s like taking baby steps and accumulating small wins to start showing yourself that you can win at big things. Also you want to start retraining your mind that you can win, even at small things. Then give yourself time to reflect on all these small accomplishments in this way building up to bigger accomplishments.
  2. Turn your attention to giving to others. Victimization breeds neediness, and the more needy you are, the more opportunity to be disappointed when your needs aren’t met. So, adopt the approach of getting by giving first. The satisfaction you get by showing love to others gives you a way to love yourself. When you love yourself, you build a guard of protection around yourself to guard from future hurts.
  3. Change your perspective by making a gratitude list and counting your blessings instead of your problems. You can remind yourself of this list when you are feeling sorry for yourself.
  4. Get closure from past hurts. This may involve forgiving someone or yourself.
  5. Take ownership of your decisions.

No one can make you feel a certain way without your permission. If you’re around people that make you feel bad or are critical of you, you have to limit or eliminate your presence around them if you have the option to do so.

I am Elona Lopari, author, host of the life school masterclass podcast and CEO of the Elona Lopari Coaching where we help mission driven entrepreneurs.