Elonalopari

Nov 11, 2020

3 min read

Forming a New Identity to Get Results!

Hello, everyone!

Today we will be speaking about shifting your identity to match the results that you are looking to achieve.

Changing or shifting your identity to become a different version of yourself is often seen as negative and is associated with being a phony or a hypocrite. A lot of our identities come from our past memories. If you remember that you were bad at playing tennis, for example, then you would say that you are a bad tennis player.

Another part of our identities is the reflected identity, made of what other people have told us about events in the past. For example, people might have told you that you were a bad listener. Either positive or negative feedback from other people helped shape your identity, and you carry that in different life situations.

Last and most important is our programmed identity, where people we trust have projected about us in the future and assume what or who we will become. We are all programmed to believe that we are a certain way. In my experience, I was programmed by my dad when we migrated to the US that I was going to college no matter what, and not doing so was not an option for me. Getting a college education was not only required, but also expected of me. So I never really questioned it — I went to college and got my degree. I would say in my case, it was positive programming, but a lot of times it might not be. These are usually reinforced throughout your life, and because you believe it, you may have no reason to change it.

Think back in your own life — what were you programmed to believe about yourself that might be stopping you from what you know you want to do or be today?

This is similar to when we label our children — what we say is actually forming their identities. For example, when we tell kids that they are smart,they grow up with this identity. On the one hand, they will grow up believing that they are smart, which is good. On the other hand, it may backfire: they might feel like they can never take risks or make changes because they will no longer be the smart one in those new circumstances. This will create a conflict in their identity until they recognize it and want to change it.

Ask yourself: what is my identity now and where did it come from? Who do I need to become to achieve my goals? What would my future self say? Who do I need to become in order to reach the results I’m set out to get?

A helpful tip is to watch the language that you use with yourself when you describe yourself. For example, “I am bad at being on time” is an example of a programmed identity or an identity formed out of past memory of always being late. You want to create a new identity to match the better version of yourself and every step of the way you will keep evolving into it at different phases of your life.

My last point is that it’s important to have awareness that a lot of us attach our identity to our careers, status etc. When these are taken away, we have an identity crisis and have to form a whole new identity to make sense of who we are now. This is something to watch out for. Form your new identity separate from materialistic things, other people, and those who we believe that we are despite those things.

Stay tuned for more great topics and tips that you can use in your life and business right away. If you found this post helpful today, be sure to subscribe because it will only get better from here. I cannot wait to connect with you here again next week!

Visit my website elonaloparicoaching.com where you can find more articles and resources!